This House

In March 2009 Mark and I moved into this house.  We had grand plans to make this a 3-4 year home, start our family and eventually either completely relocate or get our dream house on more land in this school district.  No matter what though we knew that when we eventually looked back on our life, this house would be a a big player.  Little did we know what this house would really mean.

So obviously I am feeling a little nostalgic as I pack and prepare for our last few days in our current home.  This house, the one that we thought of as temporary has turned into a home, our home.  I guess I didn't realize how much until things started clearing out.  Allowing the memories to wash over me as I pack is hard.  There are more good than bad which I guess is what most  people hope for, but so much of who I am has been shaped in this house.  

Seven years ago I never could have imagined the stories these walls would be able to tell one day.  Our dreams for a family developed in this house.  It is also the house where those dreams were crushed and reborn into new dreams that are bigger than we could ever have imagined.   These walls held tight my tears for our babies that we would never meet on this earth.  These walls also pulsated with joy the days we saw our Son's pictures for the first time.  It is the house that has welcomed my two beautiful children and the house where they learned what it means to have a Family.  These walls welcomed our babies, sheltered them after 9 surgeries and recoveries.  Oh the stories these walls could tell.

So we keep packing.  We keep moving on because God is good and he has big plans for this family.  Please keep the boys in your prayers the coming weeks.  This is very hard and confusing for them.  Please keep Mark and I in your prayers also.  That we have plenty of patience and give grace because change is hard for everyone.  

Happy Belated 1 year Family Day!!

So life is a little crazy right now.  Mark is commuting for work, we are packing, selling a house, buying a house, therapies, soccer, lots of Dr.'s appt.'s and generalized craziness with a 2 and 5 yr old so this blog post is a little late (sorry Owen).

May 11 2016 marked one year since a very small scared little boy was placed in our arms.  His fear wasn't obvious at first.  In China and even for months after being home he was just such a chill little guy.  You would assume that was just his personality.  A year later we can look back and see it was a coping mechanism.  He is still a pretty chill little guy, but not nearly as withdrawn as those first few months.  He was checking us out, getting a lay of the land and deciding if this was just another temporary placement for him.

Well a year later we have seen so much growth in Owen.  He has a ready smile, a laugh that is so stinking cute you can't help but laugh with him and a big personality.  He has definitely entered the 2's stage.  Lots of "No No No," full on floor thrashing b/c I didn't get another popsicle fits and potty training (although I refuse to admit he is potty training until we are moved but he just kind of decided).

He LOVES his big brother and does absolutely everything Konnor does.  He follows him around everywhere and is learning so much from imitating him.  He is learning his colors and animals.  Loves trucks and trains (b/c really is there anything else to play with ???).  He is starting to like play dough and some occasional coloring.  He is still doing speech and occupational therapy every week and they said he is doing great.   He has developed the cutest smile that hikes up one side of his lip while he squints with one eye on the other side.  It's adorable.

Two weeks ago he learned how to drink from a straw which is HUGE!!!!    That is a really big milestone for a cleft kid so we are ecstatic.  Now that he has some more control through the straw his fluid intake has really increased which has always been a concern.   He has also really started to expand what he will eat.  He is trying more foods and overall eating a much more balanced diet.  He is no longer seeing a Dietician b/c she was so happy with how much he has expanded his diet and he is showing great "catch up" growth.  She said he is eating a balanced diet, we just need to get more calories in him (working on it).  He has grown 4 lbs and almost 6 inches in the last year.  Most of the growth has been in the last few months so hopefully we will squeak onto the growth charts soon.

 With this milestone we have also noticed a big leap in his speech.  Yay!!  He has a lot more words now and is trying to talk more.  We see the cleft team in 2 weeks so we will get a full update on how he is doing at that time.  There is some frustration with speech as expected b/c his comprehension is so much further along than his speech, but this is not our first rodeo so we just do a lot of "show Mama/Papa what you want/need, etc...

His attachment to us is going great.  He actively seeks us out,  looks for us if we are out of sight and comes to us for comfort.  Yay!!  Anytime a child has a history of trauma attachment is always ongoing concern.  For Owen specifically he has had multiple placements prior to coming to us.  What that means is that we will continue to have to prove to him that we will be here and that our family is forever.  I suspicion when we move in 2 weeks we will see some regression as we will once again be changing his entire environment, but we are fully prepared to step up the attachment work to reassure him that we are still here for the long haul.  We have really worked on when he wakes up instead of crying he should say "Mama" or just come get me.  I think crying was automatic for him b/c he would wake up alone and scared.  Well just the last few days he has started getting out of bed and quietly coming to the top of the stairs to say "Mama" in the sweetest little voice.  Yes little guy, I am here, Mama will always be here.

Overall we couldn't have asked for Owen to have adjusted any better to our family.  He is such a smart, funny, loving little boy and just such a blessing to all of us.  We are so thankful to his birth family for choosing life and to God for then choosing us to walk him through life.  Next update will be from our new house, in our new town where we will see what adventures await the Hendricks Family.  

Precious Angel

Officer Hendricks on the case!

Christmas, a New Year and beyond

Phew, so it has been a few........ummm months or almost 6, sorry.  Needless to say the last few months have been crazy busy.  Christmas for one : )  I love Christmas. LOVE everything about it (ok I could do without all the commercialism but as for the rest, the spirit, lights and love, I am all in) So you can imagine how excited I was to have both my boys home this Christmas.

Here is a super fast recap.  The day after Polar Express Owen got sick.  Fever's, wheezing, horrible cough.  It resolved, then came right back, then resolved and unfortunately by Christmas Eve Konnor, Owen and Mama were all down for the count.  On Christmas morning I literally sat on the couch with a boy on each side, snacks around us and did nothing but watch the Disney parade.  If my Mother hadn't come over to celebrate Christmas my family would have been eating PB&J for our first Christmas together.  Other than sickness we had a beautiful day.

December also brought a rash of Early Intervention screenings and by the end of December they were getting approval for Owen to start Occupational Therapy, see a Dietician regularly (b/c he still was nowhere near the growth charts and not even gaining regularly) and weekly speech therapy.  Upon the Dietician's recommendation we got in ASAP to St. John's for Owen to get a Swallow Evaluation.  This took place the second week of January and unfortunately we found out that Owen does aspirate on thin liquids.  This led to a few weeks of figuring out how to thicken liquids so he will drink them, finding out our insurance won't pay for any thickener or supplements and just settling into a new routine.

In January Owen also got his first hair cut.  He sat so still and looks like such a big boy!   Ahhh!  Slow down time!!

In February we celebrated Chinese New Year in Waverly at a fundraiser for a family adopting a little boy from China.  It was great to be around so many other adoptive families celebrating our children's heritage.  Owen also experienced his first Monster Jam as we took the boys to St. Louis for a Monster Jam show.  They are totally truck loving boys.

The beginning of February also brought another round of sickness for our family.  I was spared this time but Mark was down for the count.  A Prompt Care visit and chest X-ray lead to a 6 week nightmare for our family where it was thought Mark probably had Lymphoma.  The final biopsy came back completely different and he has an inflammatory issue that really just requires monitoring, but no treatment.  He will continue to follow up on this, but at this point it is thought that it will resolve on it's own.  Praise God!!!

Just before Mark got sick he had accepted a new job in St. Louis that will provide a lot more stability for our family.  It also means we will be moving to Southern Illinois in June.  Ahhhh!  We are hoping to have the house on the market this week and will frantically be house shopping as the market in that area is booming.  Needless to say with commuting, packing, end of school, job hunts for me and everything else that goes along with relocating, we have been a little crazy around here lately.

Overall Owen is doing amazingly well.  He has really opened up in the last few months and we are seeing a lot more of his personality come out.    He is a total goofball!! He follows Konnor everywhere and does exactly what Konnor is doing.  Most of the time this is fine, but Konnor has taken to asking to play alone upstairs sometimes so he can play with legos or special toys without having little brother mimic every detail.  Truthfully Konnor doesn't usually mind and tries to think of funny new things to do so Owen will look silly to.  There is a lot of jumping, tickle monster and tooting in our house right now : )

Owen has finally had a growth spurt.  He is almost squeaking onto the growth chart for height at 32 3/4", but we still have a long way to go with weight at only 23 lbs 8 ounce. He is pretty solidly in 18 month clothes, but I have hopes we will hit 24 month clothes this summer.  As we have figured out his aspirating more, found ideal thickness for fluids, tried any/every combination of every food on the planet, we have started to find more foods that he likes.  Now that he is not aspirating as much he also feels safer trying new foods which is helping.   He is really doing much better in this department so meals are not nearly as stressful.  On a HUGE note, about a month ago he started actively asking for food and drink on a regular basis (like a hundred times a day).  Yahoo!!!!  This is awesome as it means he finally is starting to trust us to provide those things for him if he asks.  Needless to say we don't have much of an eating schedule right now b/c if  he asks we feed him.  The Dietician is fine with this since he is eating a pretty balanced diet and is overall trying new things.

In February we finally got all of his therapists figured out.  He is currently doing Speech and Occupational Therapy once a week in our home, seeing a Feeding therapist twice a month and a Dietician once a month.  There is a revolving door of people in my home right now, but whatever he needs we will provide so an open door policy it is right now.  He is doing really well with Speech and OT.  He so desperately wants to talk.  You can see in his eyes that those wheels are spinning so I think once we get started talking he will be much like his big brother and there will never be quiet in this house again : )

Owen  is super clingy with me which is a good sign of attachment.   It is still a process, but now that he has been home almost 12 months he has officially been a part of our family longer than he was ever in the orphanage or with his Foster Family.  I can't believe it has been almost a year, but that is a post for later this week : )

Overall Owen is doing great.  He is a running, jumping, loving, snotty, back talking (No is his favorite word) little boy and we wouldn't have it any other way.  (pictures coming I promise : )

November Updates!

November 7 we had Owen's 2nd birthday party.  He had so much fun.  We had intentionally kept the guest list small (he still doesn't really care for crowds or strangers). We had a ton of fun and lots of extra cake for dessert the next few nights.  The Barton cousins came to play in the morning and then Wyatt and Bryson came in the afternoon.  The boys had a blast in a bounce house our neighbors let us borrow.  Balloons and trains and these boys were in Heaven.  

So on November 13 we took Owen for his post op follow up.  The surgeon said that he does not believe Owen has a fistula (Praise God!!!)  He thinks that either 1) his palate is so short that he is regurgitating some of the food we are seeing over the back of his palate, or 2) he may have a tiny fistula at the front where they closed his alveolar cleft after they removed a tooth, but if there is then it doesn't need to be repaired until he has his bone graft in 6-8 years.  Yay!!!!  I won't lie, I cried a little.  His post op recovery was a real struggle.  He has had so much medical related trauma that I think this just drudged up some bad memories for him.  On a good note I think the fact that we walked him through this and never left or wavered has earned us some major points in the attachment area.  More on that later.  

He is already trying so hard to talk.  His favorite words (and most easily recognized) Mickey Mouse, More, Mine, On, Off, M&M, night night and Mama. 

He has also tried getting some two word sentences like "Want More" which is great developmentally.  He so wants to be able to communicate.  We are in the process of having him screened for Early Intervention for Speech, Developmental, OT and Dietician so see what areas we need to work on.  

Currently Baxter and Owen have a Love/Hate relationship going on.  They really do love each other, but Baxter is prone to snagging any extra food he might be able to reach.  Owen has caught on to this and screams at Baxter anytime Owen has food in his hands b/c he wants to keep Baxter away from his food (it really doesn't matter if Baxter is right in front of him or asleep on the couch across the room, he gets yelled at in anticipation of possible food stealing).  Poor Baxter just can't win with Owen right now.  I am however happy that Owen is calling out to us for help with this situation and that he feels secure enough to exert his needs/wants.  

Owen got to experience his first snow.  Okay it was barely a dusting, but let's introduce him slowly.  He isn't used to all this cold.  He really wasn't all that impressed.  We also (after much begging on Konnor's part) put up our Christmas tree.  Owen thinks it is pretty cool and thankfully doesn't mess with the ornaments much.  The boys built a train track around the tree since we don't have a motorized train for around the tree yet and will spend forever just sitting there taking the train in circles.  

Thursday we celebrated Owen's first Thanksgiving.  We traditionally don't do much for Thanksgiving.  We went out for dinner with Mark's parents and then just planned a chill day at home. For afternoon snack we ended up making a picnic on the floor of our guest room.  We spread out a blanket and the veggie, meat/cheese tray we had bought for snacking.  We all sat criss cross applesauce and acted silly.  We all said what we were thankful for and I am sure you will be shocked to learn that Konnor was thankful for Monster Jam.  When it was my turn this conversation happened: Me: I am thankful that Owen is home b/c for Thanksgiving last year he was still in China. 

Konnor: Mommy that is when Owen got his owies. 

Me: yes, it was close to that time that he got his owies.  

Then Konnor leaned forward and rubbed Owen's burns (this is big b/c he is usually afraid he will hurt Owen if he touches his arm) and said: "Owen I love your owies.  I love you Owen." 

And then my Mommy's heart burst.  I mean really!  He is so sweet and kind and just loves his brother so much.  Don't get me wrong they fight, but overall they get along beautifully.  This moment is getting stored in my Mommy's Heart is Full long term memory section for all those days that they don't get along so well as teenagers.  

Then we get to Black Friday.  We had not been able to get our traditional Polar Express tickets this year b/c they sold out so fast, but around noon a friend posted that they had tickets for that nights train in Monticello.  I jumped.  I have 2 huge train lovers in this house so this is a no brainer, and by 415 we were headed to the Polar Express train ride.  Konnor was so excited to be able to take Owen this year.  He had been very disappointed when we couldn't get tickets so this was a huge win in the Mama/Papa points book.  The boys had so much fun.  They laughed, danced, drank hot chocolate, ate cookies and we honestly  just had a beautiful family evening.  I am so happy we were able to do this.  

More to come, but for now here is a photo purge : )

Polar Express

Look, it's Elves!

Mama snuggles

Brother Kisses

Owen was soooo mad b/c I took his popcorn away to take the picture : )  Mean ol Mama

Silliness with Papa

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First snow!!

First Christmas Tree!

Happy Birthday Owen!!!

November 4, 2015 (I really did write this on November 4, but didn't get the pictures uploaded until now)

Our precious youngest Son turned 2 today.  I am in complete and total denial.  I feel like I just met him and he is already heading from the land of babies and toddlers into the land of little men.  I am just not ready.  I admit I am struggling with this birthday.  At this point in our life Mark and I believe our family to be complete.  So it suddenly caught me by surprise when I realized that this is it...there are no more babies in my house.  I admit my heart broke just a little bit.  I had such a short amount of time with the boys in "baby land" that it is a little hard to imagine that I will never have a baby again. But on to happier times:

This now little man is just amazing.  He has come so far in the almost 6 months he has been with our family.  His physical revealed that growing in inches and weight is not a priority for him (still itty bitty at only 22 lb 2 oz and 32 inches--We are single handedly keeping the Pediasure company in business), but he is definitely growing by leaps and bounds in personality.  He has really come out of his shell in the last few weeks.  He is starting to ask for things he wants, he has learned "mine" where he grabs something to him and tucks it into his chest (it is hard not to smile b/c it is so cute), and he has developed an ornery streak.  I think he is going to end up being our stubborn one : )  Overall though it is just such a privilege to see him emerging from his shell.  To see him trusting us more and more each day.  We still have a long way to go.  He had a lot of history before he came to us, but we are so so grateful to get a chance to walk with him in his life.  To see his story unfold.

Some of Owen's favorites as a new 2 yr old:

Chuggington
Any type of chip or pretzel
Greek Yogurt
Ice Cream
Chocolate
Cars or trains
MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC

November 3

November 3 is always going to be a special day in our house.  On November 3, 2014 we saw pictures of Owen for the first time.  I just knew as soon as I saw him that he was our next son.  Konnor and I went to Mark's work to show him pictures of the next blessing to be added to our family and from that moment on he was our Son.

But November 3 has another special meaning in our house.  It is the day before Owen's birthday.  Right this very minute it is already November 4 in China.  On the other side of the world there is a family grieving this day.  Not knowing if the child they loved so much has gotten the medical care he needed or found a Forever Family to call his own.  I think about this family a lot.  As I mentioned before, there was a birth note left with Owen.  We know that this family loved him and just could not provide the care he needed.  My heart is heavy this night for a Mother that 2 years ago must have been so scared as she went into preterm labor.  So uncertain of the future of this child that she  had sheltered up to that day.  I can't imagine the anguish this family felt as they had to make the decision that their child would have a better future without them. I am eternally grateful that they chose life for this boy.  This boy whose smile lights up our days and whose giggles make you see rainbows on even the bluest days.

So tonight I will say some extra prayers.  Prayers for peace for this wonderful family on the other side of the world.  I will never meet them or know their names, but we will forever be connected through our love of this beautiful little boy.

Surgery Update

Sorry it took so long to get everyone updated.  It's been a long month.  Owen's surgery went well.  He had some issues with sleepiness and low oxygen after surgery that required some supplemental oxygen, but once the anesthesia really wore off this corrected itself.  He really did great in the hospital.  He just wanted Mom to hold him, but he slept fairly well and ate pretty good.  We discharged first thing the next morning.  They had given Owen multiple doses of IV steroids during and post op due to his small size and oxygen dropping.  They were worried about swelling so that's why the steroids.  They worked great, but unfortunately IV steroids are rough and little man had a tough 3 days post op.  He just could not sleep at all.  Maybe 45 minutes at a time and it would take up to 2 hrs to get him to sleep.  I won't lie.  It was a rough couple days.

Let me tell you something else that happened those first few days.  Our little Konnor man showed his true big brother colors.  I have watched this little man mature so much in the last month.  As soon as we got home we reviewed again about Owen's owies and that he couldn't have anything crispy, crunchy or hard to chew.  Konnor immediately went to the bathroom and got a box of bandaids for Owen's owies.  He was constantly saying "Owen, I know it hurts.  Here Owen this is for you. Mommy Owen is hungry.  Mommy Owen tried to put his fingers in his mouth."  Anything to help me.  Owen has been super fussy since surgery, super fussy, and Konnor has really done awesome in dealing with everything.  He has been so gentle with him and is always saying "it will be okay Owen."

Unfortunately 3 days post op Owen developed a cold and by 5 days post op we could see his soft palate was starting to open up again.  We saw the surgeon a few days later and he said to suppress the cough, stay on a soft diet another month and see him back.  He was confident it would start to heal on it's own.  The good news is that the soft palate does appear to be healing, but I think we have a fistula somewhere else b/c he has food leaking from his nose.  : (  My heart hurts for him just thinking about him having to do this surgery again next year.  We see the surgeon again in a week and a half so we will see what he says at that time.

I was able to stay home with Owen for the first two weeks and then headed back to work.  Overall he really has been a trooper.  He has had so much happy in his short little life, and I just can't believe how well he has handled everything.