It's almost midnight. The alarm is set for 430 and by 530 we will be in the car and headed to St. Louis for the first leg of our journey. The bags are packed including carry on's with only early morning essentials to throw in the bag.
Wow. It's here. I mean it's really here. It feels like we have waited forever, 16 months, but all of a sudden the world started spinning faster and in a blink the last 2 months have flown by. I am excited, scared, nervous, anxious and a million other things, but overall, I mean the real honest truth is that I feel a great calmness right now. Right this minute all I have left to do is get on a plane. The paperwork has been triple checked and it's time to go. In 5 days I will be the Mother of 2, and while I know we have some tough days ahead, I know it's time. God's time is always right. So soon I will head to bed and get maybe a little sleep, but I wanted to touch on a few things first.
Nesting. I wanted to talk about this in great detail and before midnight the night before we leave, but the last week has been a crazy, awesome mess : ) So here is a run down with some great sources to check into. If you are family and plan on spending any time with us I HIGHLY recommend you review these sources. If you are friends that plan on spending time with us please also do a quick run through to get an idea what we are talking about. Owen has suffered great loss and trauma in his short life and the things we do to help him heal may seem out of the ordinary to you, but are essential to him. We also have to assume that this adoption will trigger some issues with Konnor as well. He is a very sensitive little guy, and we have to think ahead of ways to help him through this transition as well.
-We will be nesting when we get home. No we will not be shut in our house 24/7, but we will limit our activities for at least the first few weeks to help everyone adjust to their new surroundings and schedules.
-We will not be allowing anyone to hold Owen for the immediate future. There is no exact timeline on this as it is all dependent on his adjustment, but this is not negotiable. He has had significant trauma with the loss of his birth family, multiple hospitalizations, multiple caregivers and being taken from the only home he has ever known. Konnor took to us right away, but there is no guarantee that Owen will react the same way so until such time as he shows signs of bonding to BOTH Mark and I we will not allow holding or self care to be done by anyone but us (feeding, diapers, baths, etc...). You are welcome to talk to him, give fives, make silly faces, etc..., but please refrain from trying to take him from us and if he does reach for you please do not try to take him from our arms. This is not meant to cause distress to anyone and it is not personal, but we have to do what is best for Owen and ultimately our family. Please address questions to Mark or I regarding this issue.
Please please please read this article. It is about perfect in explaining what I am talking about here.
www.https://thesweetfamilylife.wordpress.com/2014/01/10/a-letter-for-the-family-and-friends-of-those-adopting-a-little-one/
-Owen has burns on his right arm that are significant. They don't hurt him and over time will get somewhat better, but will never completely heal. It is ok to talk about or ask questions about his burns. It is a part of his history, but we don't want it to become the center of conversation everytime he meets someone so please try to plan ahead and talk to your children about what questions they may have and we are happy to help answer questions. The Phoenix Society http://www.phoenix-society.org has some wonderful information about burns if anyone is interested in learning more.
Alright everyone. I know there is more, but honestly my alarm is going off in 4 hours and that is only if a 4 year old doesn't wake me up sooner. Let me know if you have any questions and we will try to update as much as possible from China.
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