Mixed Emotions

We are only 5 days away from leaving and my emotions are all over the place.  Don't get me wrong, I am crazy excited, but there is more to it than just adding a little one to our family.  You see, the orphanage will already have been notified of Owen's impending adoption and his Gotcha Day.  This is huge in his world.  Any day now, if they haven't already, they will remove Owen from his Foster Family and place him back in the orphanage.  We have requested that they only do this a week prior, but truthfully we have no control over this and typically they do this about 2 weeks before Gotcha Day.  The reasoning is to create some distance between the child and the Foster Family so that they are more accepting of their Forever Family, but also they want the Nanny's to be the "bad guys" that remove the child versus the new family taking on that role.

My concerns are multiple on this issue:
I completely understand why they are doing this, but I hate hate hate to the core of my being that he will be back in the orphanage.  Firstly, he was moved to Foster Care due to the fact that he was failing to thrive in the orphanage.  This is one of the better orphanages, but still it is not a home with a Mommy to attend to all of his needs.  I worry about his eating (they have repeatedly told us he is not a good eater), I worry about his burns being taken care of, and on and on.

Mostly though my heart is breaking because I know his heart is breaking.  He has spent 8 months with this family.  They stayed with him during his hospitalization, burn care, etc... and from all accounts from parents whose children have fostered with them, they are amazing and love their foster children fiercely.  He is so little and has no way of knowing that this home is temporary.  In his mind this is Mama and Baba. I can only imagine how scared and confused he must be right now.  To then be in the orphanage and suddenly be handed to these people who look nothing like him, smell funny and talk funny is going to be just another trauma in his life.

So right now I ask that you say prayers for him.  That he will feel God's love surrounding him until we can be with him.  That his heart will be open to us and that our hearts and minds will be in tune to his needs during this upcoming transition.

Thank You